Wild & Crazy Family

May 2000

May 6th was our 10th anniversary! Tim and I were talking about that big milestone and walking down memory lane.

"It has been a good ten years, Baby!" he said joyfully.

My heart caught in my throat. Most people would look at all we have been through the past ten years and say it was rough. He knows more than anyone how stressful it has been. Here are just a few of the tough things that come to mind:

medical school
having babies

Feb 2003

my working nights
his having to go out of town for six weeks for school right before Blake was born (he made it back it time)
financial struggles
his car getting stolen which led to credit card info stolen (we had $7 to our name for a week- talking about praying the diapers won't run out!)

Sept 2003- babies in the toy bucket

his having to be out of town for six months again for school, my juggling a two and a half year old and a six month old without him while still working and trying not to have a breakdown, two weeks before he would come home from this six month stint and our lives would return to normal -- I had my car accident

It used to be a Toyota 4Runner. Nov 2003

his being told your wife may never walk again
his having to go to the junk yard and see the wreckage that easily could have taken his whole family away
my leaving for vacation and never coming home to the apartment where we started our marriage and brought both of our children home from the hospital, his having to move us before I got out of the hospital (because I could not climb the stairs to our apartment)
coming home for the first time and seeing everyone's pained faces as I slowly made my way up the driveway with my walker
juggling people to take care of me and the kids
his being torn because he still had to work long hours and travel to do interviews but he wanted to care for his family

June 2005

passing around the stomach flu to everyone who came to help and the only toilet that worked was attached to my room and I had a high fever so I could only lay there and listen to everyone taking turns throwing up (good times!)
seeing the sadness in my children's faces when they needed something and I had to let others hug them, pick them up, feed them, change them, discipline them, while I lay there helpless
injuries that would not heal
complications
medications
pain, pain, pain,

Tammy after second back surgery, April 2004

more surgeries
more pain, more complications
having to let go of control and let my husband and mother-in-law pick out our first real house because I was recovering from surgery (I saw it for the first time when we moved in. They picked well. I like it!)
wondering how we were going to make it in a new city where we didn't know anyone
financial strain because I was unable to work
more surgery, more complications
having to go back to surgery alone
pain
packing up the moving van the day I got home from the hospital
asking my three year old to help me get my one year old out of his crib when he woke up really early and I didn't want to wake Grandma up. Then realizing I couldn't get him out and crying the big ugly cry.
moving half way across the country
residency
raising our kids

Blake's dedication June 2003

watching them leave for school for the first time
his having to miss so much because residency and med school are about as flexible as a two year old without a nap
my constant stream of doctor appointments
treatments
epidural steroid injections

realization that I would not be "better" after a year
grief, depression
being told I would never be able to be a patient-care nurse again
his having to watch your wife struggle daily with pain
his having to work and still come home and cook, etc because I could barely manage
another surgery -- Tim couldn't get the time off, trying not to be jealous that other friend's husbands got to take a day off if their wives were sick and mine couldn't even come to my surgery
endless battles with insurance and endless medical bills
more pain
his looking for a job post-residency
getting settled in a new routine
adjusting to people recognizing him
dealing with the fact that some people can not see past the MD to see us as just normal people
trying to pretend that being called "the doctor and his disabled wife" doesn't hurt
more back pain
failed treatments
grieving not being able to have more children
my struggle with feeling useless

Christmas Day 2007

And yet . . . . . . he said they were good years. Now you may be thinking he is a little delusional. I think he remembers this:

The joy of being newlyweds and making our little apartment home. Teasing me because I said it was romantic to have boxes for furniture and then complaining that the boxes were not comfortable to sit on.
Laughing about our first "fight" being that I thought we should share a bathroom drawer instead of his/hers. Aren't we supposed to share everything now? I thought he didn't love me if he didn't want to mix his shaving stuff with my hairbrush. I learned he loves me even more when I give him his own space.
Finding out we were having a honeymoon baby (we honeymooned in Australia so we tell her we got her from a kangaroo) and him laughing at me being embarrassed to tell my parents we were expecting.

See Tara, that is the kangaroo that Dad asked if we could take you home. I don't know why you don't believe us! We even have a picture! Australia, May 2000

Watching him talk to our little baby in my stomach and put cold soda cans on my tummy so she would move (yes, my children were pestered even in the womb!).
When our daughter was about to be born, the nurse asked if a paramedic student could watch the delivery. Tim pipes up, "Sure, we're all about learning!" Rolling my eyes, I said, "Me. She is asking me. Not you!" We let him stay though.
Teasing him for dropping off his new baby and wife at home (fresh out of the hospital) and leaving for about eight hours to go watch the Super bowl and hang out with friends.
All the good memories of going on walks and playing with our daughter. Agreeing that this new little person seemed to make the sun shine brighter and she even made burping something to celebrate! She has always been able to wrap everyone around her little finger with her sweetness and leadership skills. She is gentle and strong in the most beautiful way.

baby Tara, Feb 2002

The funny story of the first time we were going to use our new hand mixer and Tim put it on his shirt to see if it tickled. It tangled up his shirt and broke the mixer. His face was priceless -- like a little boy that got caught because I had just told him not to do that! I told him he was fired from the kitchen. He shouted, "Yesssss!", with his hands raised in victory. I unfired him. He has been trying to get fired again (from having to help cook) ever since.
For Valentine's Day one year, he brought me home a big light bulb mylar balloon that says "you turn me on". I was so embarrassed which made him so happy.
Tim delivered Blake (with our doctor close by). We did not find out the gender of our babies. He had guessed Tara would be a boy and Blake would be a girl. My sister-in-law said, "You're 0 for 2!" Tim said, "I am 0 for 2 and darn happy about it!" Then he proceeded to the next most important line of business -- who would our son's football team be? (We all had to pick a favorite NFL team to cheer for. I was informed of this when we got engaged.) Tara always moved a lot in my tummy when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were playing so that is her team. We picked the Philadelphia Eagles for Blake before he had even been weighed!

baby Blake, Jan 2003

All the dance parties that we have spontaneously had in our house -- just the four of us . . . or whom ever else happens to be there.

Blake and Tara, Sept 2007

All the game nights we have had, with all our friend's babies asleep in playpens all over the house. Bedtime is an irrelevant term when it comes to a good board game!
The spunk that a little boy brought to our house. He is full of mischief and life! His middle name means laughter and he is always saying the funniest things. Blake loves a challenge.

June 2003

When it is pouring rain or snowing, Tim loves to run outside barefoot just to be crazy. He talks our children into such foolishness or carries them out there while they giggle, "Dad, you are so crazy!"
Having camp-outs in the living room that last for a month.
Tim took time off between residency and starting his job. We decided to go on a 30 day trip and drive to California and back to Missouri while stopping at all sorts of cool places: Disneyland, Pismo Beach, Monterey, San Francisco, Reno/ Donner Lake, Idaho, Yellowstone, Mount Rushmore, etc. We planned it out in a span of two hours. We left the next day. It will probably go down as one of the biggest highlights of our family life. It was beyond wonderful. Thirty days of laughter, fun, jokes, exploring, and being together. I think it was the length of time that allowed us to relax and enjoy each day instead of trying to cram in all the fun in a week and coming back exhausted. Besides, who doesn't love a road trip.

body surfing at Pismo Beach 2008

Yellowstone July 2008

"In sickness and in health" - We are thankful we had three and a half years of marriage with me healthy. I told him I was sorry that he had a lumpy wife that was in pain all the time. He said he would still have married me if he would have known about all my back issues that would come. I told him I would still have married him if I would have known about all the marathons that would come. :)

Iowa marathon October 2009

That we lived through our car accident.

Tara, Blake, and Mama 2004

All the miracles of people being there in our darkest hour. Going above and beyond to help us. The fellow med student who "happened" to be in the rural town clinic and jumped hoops to take the kids to a friend's house until our family could get there (we were hours away from everyone). A friend that paid his own ticket to fly to Las Vegas so he could drive Tim's car back to Reno so Tim could fly on the medical plane with me. All the family and friends that took shifts to take care of the kids or take me to doctor appointments. Everyone who brought groceries, did laundry, cleaned bathrooms, helped us move, listened, visited, called, prayed for us, came even knowing that the stomach flu would be their only thank you gift -- they still came to help. All the doctors, nurses, physical therapists, etc that took care of us and ministered to our hearts and bodies. We have never felt so vulnerable . . . and so very loved.
That Blake and I learned to walk together (he took his first steps days before the accident). He would steal my walker and take off down the hallway and I could not chase him. I would sit there and tell him to bring it back and he would laugh and laugh! Little stinker! Oh, I love you!

Blake playing soccer 2009

My sweet Tara, who was so worried about her mama, she would come sleep in our room. I never let her do this before the accident. Tim was worried she would kick my back in her sleep so we made a "special bed" on the floor for her. To this day our kids still come sleep in "special bed" sometimes. Sweet Tara, your compassion will touch the world.

Daddy and Tata at Pismo Beach 2008

That even things that are not fun, we make fun or funny. Like when I need my pain medicine, we sing "the one with the line in the middle". I have some pretty gnarly scars that are raised or keloids, my nephews think they look like worms and always ask to see my worms when they see me. I am pretty sure this gained me "coolest aunt" status. Or this picture where Tara was doing an impression of Mom, with walker and sad face for the pain. So funny!

Tara 2004

How we have all learned compassion, patience, joy even in sorrow, and hope.
We finished med school! We finished residency!
Seeing how God led us to the perfect place for us. Finding out four years later that another program we thought we wanted for residency had shut down right when we would have moved there. Just when we thought the gage was broken on the "how much you can handle", we learned that God had spared us from many more trials.
Tim joined a wonderful practice here-- full of people that love God. We did not have to move (which was giving me ulcers). The kids did not have to change schools. Daddy's commute went from 20-60 minutes to 8 minutes.
He loves his job. Not everyone can say that.

2009 birthing pumpkins

One time Tim told the kids not to tell and threw an egg up to the ceiling to see if he could crack it. It cracked and amazingly left no mess on the ceiling. This did not stop the babies from running to tell Mom how busted Dad was! Dad was punished with a tickle-torture from all three of us.
Our babies are both thriving. They are sweet, kind, smart, funny, respectful, wild and crazy! We love them so much. There is never a dull moment. Never!

Big Cedar Lodge 2008

Once a pen rolled down the lint trap of our dryer and we could not retrieve it. I said we could not use the dryer until it was out. Tim said it was probably fine. I said, "No, because the heat of the dryer will cause the pen to explode all over the clothes and it will ruin them!" He said, "Has that ever really happened or do you just make this stuff up?" I can not help that these worst-case scenarios just pop into my head!
All nine of Tim's marathons that he has trained for and completed. Especially the one in Antarctica. The babies have also done the kids marathon.

Kids marathon 2009

Many answers to prayer, especially the recent healing of Tammy's back. What a joy that has been!!
All the special memories of being together for ten years and being able to laugh about them with the person you see everyday. Being best friends.
The fact that we have a really hard time calling each other by our first names if we are actually talking to each other. We call each other "Baby" or "Baaaaaaaaby".